Only Human
by Amy L. M
Summary: Ciel Phantomhive believes himself to be a strong person, considering how much he has been through in his young life. However, when he is struck down with the flu, will his views change?


**Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji in any way, all rights to Yana Toboso.**

* * *

Ciel Phantomhive was not weak.

He had been forced to endure many tragedies and hardships in his young life, far more than someone of his age should have been faced with at such an early stage of his life. The horrific death of his parents left emotional scars that would never heal and to this day, the memories plagued him, quickly transforming dreams into frightening nightmares. Nevertheless, he continued moving forward, the burning flame of determination never once flickering. He would find those who were responsible for his humiliation and pain, and he would avenge the Phantomhive family.

Of course, he did have Sebastian at his side, loyal and obedient until the end. That was until his part of the contract was fulfilled. After that his soul belonged to Sebastian and would be hungrily devoured by the crimson-eyed demon. And so, Ciel clearly possessed a strong heart and mind but his current state claimed differently for his body. The young Earl groaned under his breath, mismatched eyes squeezed shut against the golden rays of sunshine filtering through the gap in the curtains. His head throbbed relentlessly, the bright daylight only proving to worsen his headache. He slowly pulled the tangled blankets from his shivering body and staggered to his feet, cursing his current predicament.

The twisting and turning of his stomach bordered unbearable but Ciel gritted his teeth and forced his legs to move towards the adjacent bathroom of his room. Once he had entered the tiled room, Ciel stood before the mirror and grimaced at his reflection, his appearance appalling. His grey-blue hair hung dull and limp, dishevelled from the night. Dark circles were clear underneath his tired eyes, proof of his lack of sleep from the past few days and his skin was paler than normal. For someone of his status to look like this, it was simply unacceptable. Each day, he was dressed immaculately and correctly, from the crisp shirts to the polished shoes. After all, he represented the Phantomhive family and would not dare risk soiling their reputation in any way, so appearance was very important.

Ciel sighed lightly, turning on the faucet and splashed ice-cold water onto his face before he returned to his ornately decorated bedroom. He collapsed onto the end of the mattress of the king sized bed, refusing to believe that his body was suffering with the common flu despite the obvious symptoms. Throughout the week, he had found himself growing weak and tired, and had moments of severe dizziness along with a diminishing appetite. He had eaten less during meals and waved away any sweets, something very out of character. The servants had not noticed a change in their masters behaviour, either too busy with work around the Manor or too occupied almost destroying anything they laid their hands on.

His butler had certainly realised that something was wrong but not a single word was spoken about the matter.

A soft knock sounded at the wooden door of the bedroom, announcing the usual and punctual arrival of Sebastian. The door opened with a click and the butler stepped inside, surprised that his master had already awakened. "Good morning, Master." Sebastian greeted, polite and proper as always. "You're awake early. I hope you slept pleasantly."

Ciel followed his gaze towards the mess of tangled blankets and sheets, and the rumpled pillows. Clearly, he had not slept pleasantly in the slightest, for he had been tossing and turning in the bed throughout the entire night. It was irritating how his butler was well aware of that fact and was smirking knowingly. The young boy huffed and gathered his strength, shakily rising to his feet. He would not allow a simple flu to affect his day. There was work to be done.

"Sebastian, prepare a bath and suitable clothing for today. Bring my tea to my study and nothing else."

Slightly taken aback from the abrupt orders, Sebastian bowed and proceeded to follow through with his master's words. Afterwards, Ciel exited his bedroom and slowly walked through the long hallways of the Manor towards the study, while Sebastian disappeared to prepare tea. The mere thought of consuming anything apart from freshly made tea, was repulsive and if he were to have desired anything for breakfast, he would have been greeted with rich, delectable foods which would have just worsened the condition of his stomach. With that thought being pushed to the recesses of his mind, Ciel entered his study and sank down into the large chair behind the desk, glaring at the stacks of paperwork awaiting his arrival.

He reached for the first piece of paper, quickly scanning the information provided about the company's latest business successes. Half-way through reading, searing pain overwhelmed his head, far worse than the constant throbbing ache. Ciel placed the paper onto the desk and buried his face in his hands, blurred eyes closing. The pain disappeared as quickly as it had arrived but left him feeling extremely dizzy and tired. He removed his hands away from his face, bringing the black eye-patch with them as the string caught on his fingers. It fluttered downwards and landed lightly in his lap, where it remained forgotten. Ciel lifted a trembling hand to his marked eye, baring the symbol of the contract between himself and Sebastian.

The memory of that day swirled around in his head, forcing him to relive each moment. He had been brutally tortured and humiliated by _them_. But he had remained strong and not allowed himself to fall, instead summoning a demon. _They_ were the one's who had fallen. Sebastian had saved him and thus, the contract was formed, stating that the demon would faithfully serve Ciel as his butler until he had fulfilled his revenge. He would then willingly surrender his tainted soul to Sebastian, no matter how much pain it would bring. He would gladly welcome death when the time ensued.

"Young Master." A soft, low voice spoke.

Startled, Ciel focused his gaze on the butler who stood in the doorway of the study, holding a silver tray adorned with a teapot and a cup with a saucer. He dropped his hand and retrieved the eye-patch from his lap and silently placed it on the desk in front of him, slyly straightening in the chair and clearing his throat. Anything to conceal that he was unwell. However, crimson eyes filled with amusement watched his every movement. Sebastian strode across the carpeted room, footsteps echoing. He set the cup and saucer down on the desk and skillfully poured the steaming liquid inside.

"What is it today?" Ciel asked, barely interested.

"Only the finest Earl Grey tea, Master. I hope it is satisfactory." Sebastian replied, before he carefully placed the silver tray with the teapot onto the wooden desk and plucked the eye-patch up with a gloved hand. "Allow me."

In a matter of seconds, the black eye-patch was securely tied and Ciel was unsuccessfully attempting to clear his throat from an uncomfortable ticklish sensation. He reached for the cup of tea, irritated at his shaking hands and gulped the hot beverage, surprised when it painfully burned his throat instead of soothing it as he had hoped. He spluttered, throat aching and ignored the concerned gaze of his butler, close to slamming the cup back onto the saucer.

"My Lord, are you alright?" Sebastian questioned.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. You may leave." Ciel rasped, biting back a harsh cough.

With a slight nod of his head, Sebastian gathered the silver tray and the empty cup along with the saucer. He stood before the desk and bowed, one gloved hand against his chest. "Yes, Master. Before I leave, I thought you would like to know that there was a small..._accident_ in the kitchen and it's currently under repairs. Lunch may be delayed today...I apologize."

The young Earl sighed inwardly with relief, outwardly feigning annoyance and a hint of amusement.

At least with that distraction, he wouldn't have to eat anything. "I assume Bardroy was playing with his flame thrower again?"

Sebastian straightened and smirked slowly, a soft chuckle leaving his lips. "Indeed. I shall ensure the kitchen is cleaned correctly, Master. If you require anything at all, I'll be here...ready to serve you as always."

Ciel's bare eye narrowed, the cerulean blue filled with confusion. "What on earth are you babbling about?"

The butler simply smiled in a knowing manner, balancing the silver tray in one gloved hand and holding the door open with the other. He silently slipped out of the room and closed the door with a soft click, leaving Ciel alone with his thoughts. He despised how his butler was blatantly teasing him about being ill, which of course he had known all along. Sebastian was capable of sensing anything as a demon so it was no surprise that he knew his master was feeling unwell but to dangle that fact in his face, it was truly aggravating. Ciel pulled in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, gently massaging his temples. Being brought down with the flu was nothing but bothersome.

Without having the correct state of mind from the dizziness or not being capable of focusing on anything long enough, the paperwork would never be completed. He angrily slammed a pale hand onto the hard wood of the desk, knowing he would not get any work done today, and rose to his feet, turning towards the large window. The day outside was beautiful, the golden sun shining brightly and only a slight breeze whistled through the air, ruffling tall blades of grass and the leaves of the trees. Ciel suddenly longed to escape the confines of the study and take a walk around the grounds, pondering if the fresh air would clear his head.

Perhaps that was what he needed, a few minutes outside in the sunshine and fresh, crisp morning air.

Glancing back at the stack of paperwork one last time with distaste, he quietly exited the study while trying to ignore the painful twisting of his stomach. He would overcome the flu, alone, without any help from anyone. He was not weak and he refused to believe so. The long hallways of the Manor seemed never-ending as Ciel ambled along them in the direction of the staircase and the elaborate paintings on the walls blurred out of shape. Stumbling, he paused and blinked rapidly to clear his vision, shaking his head slightly in annoyance. He was perfectly fine and the floor underneath his feet was_ not_ morphing, nor was the hallway spinning. But it certainly seemed that way.

He gritted his teeth, feeling as though he would faint at any moment. He caught himself before he fell, leaning heavily against the wall for support. The pounding in his head had intensified to almost excruciating levels and Ciel almost cried from the pain but forced the traitorous tears away. Crying was a form of weakness and he refused to shed tears for something as petty as a headache. It would only be pathetic for someone of his status, a member of the Phantomhive family and the Queen's guard-dog, to do so even if he was still a child. With a deep, raspy breath, Ciel regained his balance and continued down the hallway until he reached the staircase overlooking the grand entryway.

He gripped the polished banister tightly, his skin turning ghostly white across the knuckles. His blurred gaze focused on Finnian and Mey-Rin, who were conversing at the bottom of the staircase, arms weighed down with boxes and packages. It was Finnian who noticed that their master had appeared, turning his head in his direction. He balanced the packages effortlessly in one arm and waved up at Ciel with the other, smiling widely. "Good morning, Master!"

Moving to descend the staircase, Ciel stumbled, extreme dizziness overwhelming him and everything suddenly passed by in a blur. He gasped, eyes squeezed shut, the air being knocked from his lungs the moment his body collided with the steps. A clammy hand groped outwards for the banister but only found air. He tumbled downwards and eventually landed in a miserable heap on the cold tiles, a sickening crack echoing in his ears as his head smacked against the floor. Pain consumed his bruised, battered body and he lay curled in on himself, frozen in shock. Ciel listened to the frantic footsteps running towards him and slowly opened his eye.

Finnian and Mey-Rin were knelt before him, frantically checking him over and screaming for Sebastian, who appeared a moment later. His crimson eyes widened, gaping at the sight. Ciel would have smirked at his expression but could only move his lips enough to gulp down rasping breaths.

"Sebastian, what will we do!? What if he broke something?!" Finnian cried, wide eyes scanning over his body once again.

The Earl lazily focused his uncovered eye on his butler, silently ordering him to deal with the problem. Sebastian immediately regained his composure, the calm and focused demeanour slipping into place. He made his way over and gently slipped his arms underneath Ciel's body, carefully lifting him into the air and against his chest. Wincing, Ciel hissed as pain coursed through his body, emanating from his chest, his right arm and both legs. He slowly closed his eyes and leaned into Sebastian's chest, seeking any form of comfort (even if it were from a demon). The concerned voices of his servants faded away and Ciel drifted into unconsciousness, knowing that he was safe in his butler's arms.

* * *

It was completely dark when Ciel slowly awakened, both of his eyes wide open with the black eye-patch gone, the only light being provided by the moon shining through the small gap in the curtains. To his surprise and slight annoyance he had slept the entire day away. He could feel a soft mattress beneath his aching body and his slender fingers twitched against the silken blankets, instantly recognising it as his own bed. Gradually, he stretched and moved his limbs, wincing in discomfort. There was a dull throbbing in his head, not nearly as awful as it had been earlier but a definite bump had formed under his hair from where he had fallen against the staircase. Sighing softly, Ciel pushed himself into a sitting position and blinked, eyes slowly focusing in the darkness, allowing him to make out the dark shapes of furniture in the room.

His bruised body protested with each movement he made and he huffed, grumbling under his breath. He could distinctly recall the accident on the staircase and his worried servants but everything after the events was nothing but a surreal blur. During his state of unconsciousness, the flu he was suffering with had most definitely worsened, proven from his sore throat to his sick stomach. Ciel leaned back into the pillows and pulled the blankets upwards to relieve his shivering and to fight the coldness of the room. He absolutely hated being sick, not only because of how he felt physically but emotionally too. He felt drained and tired and weak.

Secretly, he longed for the love and comfort of his parents again, something he had not felt in years. After all, he was still a child no matter how mature he may have been. He would have smiled at the memories of how his parents had taken care of him as a young child when he was ill, if only he could remember how. He had long since forgotten happiness and smiling and laughter. As a young child, his life was filled with joy and moments that he would always cling to, never wanting to forget. During his periods of sickness, his parents were there for him. His mother would read or sing to him at night, imaginative stories or soft lullabies that provided him with dreamless, fulfilling sleep. His father had reassured him that he was not weak and that even the strongest of men were knocked down from time to time.

Their strength came from how they got back up, again and again, becoming stronger each time.

Returning to reality, Ciel forced the memories of his old life away to the back of his mind and closed his eyes, hoping for sleep to consume him. The soft blankets provided little comfort or relief against the aches and pains coursing through his body and he just felt uncomfortable. Knowing sleep would simply evade him, he slid out from underneath the tangled blankets. His bare feet touched the cold floor and he pushed himself upwards off the bed, surprised at how weak and pained he really did feel, as much as he wanted to deny it. He staggered slightly, regained his balance and started towards the door, carefully guiding himself through the darkness.

He needed a drink of some sort, maybe a cup of tea or a glass of water, anything to help his sore throat. A soft knock broke the silence, startling him and he paused, breathing deeply to calm his rapidly beating heart. The wooden door opened quietly and a dim light washed inside the room from the flickering flames of candles. Sebastian held up the candelabra, casting shadows across his pale face and the red-orange flames reflected in his eyes. Ciel noticed that he really did resemble a demon at that moment, or at least some type of demonic creäture. He narrowed his eyes at the smirk on his butlers face and diverted his gaze, hating it every second it was there.

"It's good to see you conscious, Master. I must admit, you gave me quite a startle earlier. You should not be so reckless." Sebastian said, the familiar grin firmly in place as he stepped through the doorway and allowed the large door to close behind him. Ciel stumbled back to the king sized bed and lowered himself onto the end of it, feet dangling over the floorboards. His hands fisted in the thin sheets in irritation at his butler's sudden appearance. He never payed him nightly visits, unless it was necessary. Sebastian stepped forwards and stood before him, still holding the candelabra and watched him intently with eyes filled with some sort of emotion unclear to him.

Perhaps it was concern? _No_, Sebastian would never truly be concerned in the slightest about his health unless it was life threatening and there was a chance that he would miss out on his desired meal. "Why are you here, Sebastian?" Ciel asked quietly, wondering if there was anyone who did care for him in his mind.

"I sensed your distress and what kind of butler would I be if I did not tend to your needs?" He replied curtly, smiling but not in a menacing or sly manner.

Ciel rolled his eyes (a childish action) and groaned inwardly, cursing his butler's abilities. It seemed as though Sebastian loved to tease him when he was ill and aggravate him further, all to his own amusement. But _maybe_ there was a possibility that he was genuinely concerned about his master. Dismissing those thoughts, Ciel recalled what he had desired earlier, before the interruption arised.

"Bring me some tea." He ordered, climbing into the king sized bed.

Sebastian pressed a single gloved hand to his chest and bowed. "Of course, Master. Would you like a midnight snack to accompany your tea? I'm aware that my young Lord has not eaten today."

Ciel quickly dispelled the image of elaborate desserts from his mind, stomach twisting in disgust at the thought. "No. Just bring some tea." He replied quietly.

Sebastian nodded his head slightly and turned to leave, the flames on the candles flickering in protest at the sudden movement. Ciel pushed himself backwards on the bed until his body was pressed against the headboard and he was cocooned in the blankets and pillows. He debated for a moment and quickly raised his head, no longer caring what his butler thought of him in this situation. He just wanted to get better and no longer feel as pathetic as he did now.

"Sebastian.."

His butler paused and inclined his head in his direction, a hint of confusion in his expression. "Yes, my Lord?"

"Bring me medication with the tea. This flu is proving to be quite bothersome."

The butler's crimson eyes widened in surprise at his admitting to being ill, something he would have usually tried very hard to hide from anyone. He composed himself and agreed to the order, as he always would, and silently glided out of the room. The moment the door to his bedroom closed, Ciel became overwhelmed with his disarrayed emotions and suddenly broke down in tears. It was pathetic, shedding tears this way, no matter what his age. He _should_ be stronger than this and not allow himself to crumble under the weight of his emotions. Ciel furiously wiped his eyes with the pale white sleeves of his nightgown and scrubbed his cheeks from the thin trails the tears had left behind. But they refused to stop. He continued to cry quietly, gasping down stuttering breaths and his body trembled uncontrollably.

The wall that he had worked so hard to build on the grief and pain he felt, ever since that faithful day that he lost everything, had been filled with cracks and was slowly falling down. A sob escaped his lips as he suddenly remember the day's when he would play with Elizabeth and their parents, singing nursery rhymes and running underneath the bridge made of arms.

_'London Bridge is falling down...falling down...falling down...London Bridge is falling down...my fair Lady...'._

Ciel clutched the blankets with shaking fingers and hugged them close to his body, gulping down deep breaths and attempting to cease his ridiculous crying. He closed his eyes, the last tears sliding down his cheeks in thin rivulets and regained what dignity he had left. He quickly realised that he did feel slightly better after crying, as if the built up grief inside of him was released somewhat.

"Master...your tea."

Startled at the low voice, he lifted his head and focused his blurry vision on Sebastian who had silently entered the room once again, carrying a silver tray laden with tea and in the other hand, the candelabra. His butler stared at him with an unknown expression etched across his pale face, lips pulled into a thin line and eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Ciel immediately straightened up against the headboard, praying that Sebastian had not witnessed the sight of him crying. However, Sebastian simply placed the silver tray on the dresser beside the bed and straightened the tangled blankets and sheets. Ciel watched as he then poured the steaming tea into the cup and handed it to him with the saucer.

The sweet aroma from the tea drifted upwards and Ciel immediately recognised it as his favourite Earl Grey. He carefully lifted the cup to his lips and sipped slowly, savouring the tingling warmth it provided him. A second passed before he noticed that the flavour was slightly different than usual and he lowered the cup, glancing at his butler with questioning eyes.

"The medication you required is dissolved in the tea, Master. I thought it would be easier for a child to consume it that way." Sebastian explained, chuckling lightly with a teasing smile.

Ignoring the remark, he turned away and sipped the remaining liquid inside the cup, noting how tired he was becoming once he had finished the tea. He returned the cup and saucer to Sebastian, who set it on the silver tray and proceeded to tuck him into bed. A hiss whistled through his clenched teeth when he applied pressure to his right arm while climbing under the blankets.

"Are you alright, Master?" Sebastian questioned, pausing beside the bed.

"Yes, it's just my arm. How badly was I injured after the incident earlier?" Ciel replied, distinguishing all the points in his body that were paining him. It seemed as though his chest was one of the worst and each breath caused some discomfort. The coloured bruises along his body would heal and fade eventually but the aching muscles and limbs would last longer.

"You acquired bruised ribs, which were the worst of your injuries. Your legs and arms are simply bruised from the fall, but will heal efficiently with time and rest. You were very fortunate to not have broken anything. You must be more careful." Sebastian replied, a disapproving tone to his voice.

Ciel glared up at his butler but was secretly filled with relief to find that they were the extent of his injuries. He would be fine once again, with some medication and rest, and then he could return to business. Hopefully, the flu would diminish quickly and he could move enough to complete his work. Afterall, the paperwork concerning his businesses would simply pile up. He sighed lightly and closed his eyes, yearning for sleep. If he could escape reality, even if merely for a few hours, it would be worth it compared to the grief and pain he was burdened with each day of his life.

"Sebastian...am I weak?" He asked, voice hushed in the silence of the dark room.

His mismatched eyes fluttered open, pupils dilating and focusing on his butler, who was taken aback. Sebastian set down the silver tray and the glowing candelabra onto the dresser once again and leaned down beside the bed. He reached out a gloved hand and brushed the stray strands of hair away from Ciel's pale face, staring directly into his eyes, gaze lingering on the symbol of their contract a moment longer. The young Earl unconsciously leaned into his touch, craving the comfort of another, not caring that Sebastian was a demon. He just wanted to feel the comfort and security of another being, something which he had been deprived of since the death of his parents. He had closed himself off from his emotions and despised being touched by others, the memory of_ their_ hands on his body, defiling him and stripping away his dignity ever-present.

But now he wanted to feel the comfort of another.

"You are not weak, my young Lord. You are still only a child, yet you have suffered through so much...one could never assume that you are weak. You may not be strong all the time, but you are only human." Sebastian murmured, gently placing his hand over his forehead, feeling the warmth of his skin through the glove.

_'It's wrong'_ Ciel thought.

To be comforted by a demon that desired your very soul. But he no longer cared, his life was already filled with strange occurences and wrong doing. His soul was already tainted and broken and he was damned to Hell. Nothing he did would matter anymore, for his path had been chosen. He deserved something in return for all his pain and grief and it were from his demonic butler, then so be it. None of it would really matter in the end anyway, when all was said and done. His relationship with Sebastian had changed _so _much since the beginning of their contract and now he could say that he felt closer to him in a way, knowing that he could place his trust and faith in him until it was all over.

"Sebastian...stay with me until I fall asleep." Ciel whispered, eyes slowly closing as sleep reached towards him.

"Of course, Master. I'll always stay by your side...until the very end."

* * *

**_The End._  
**


End file.
